Tiki Time!

With Summer in full effect, The Foodie has found himself bitten by the Tiki Bug. Why? I'm not sure. We do have a solid Tiki history here in The Bay, what with Trader's Vic's originating here and that tradition being carried on with places like The Forbidden Island (arguably one of THE best tiki bars on the left coast) right here on Silicon Island. In fact, while merely prepping to write this blog entry last nite, I got the urge to GO to Trader Vics's so, just one hour later, there we were with a Suffering Bastard and Coral Reef in hand. Bonus: It happened to also be a 1000 point OpenTable rez. Cha-Ching! But I digress...

So hot days need cold drinks so, without further adieu, here are a few adult beverages for you to enjoy that are Hottie (and Meat Guy) approved. Plus, with them posted here, The Meat Guy can stop calling me and asking for the recipes :p


So why not start with the Mother of all tiki drinks, the venerable Mai Tai, invented by Trader Vic himself. Now many, many people have tried to figure out the EXACT blend of juices and syrups he used for the mix but, to that, I say eff it. Argue on your tiki forums all you want, but just buy a bottle of the mix for $5 at your local supermarket or specialty store and be done with it. If you follow the directions on the mixer it claims to use Trader Vic's Dark Rum, which you can, and it turns out tasty. HOWEVER, below is the recipe for what you'd be served if you were to actually have it at a Trader Vic's:

- 2 oz. Meyer's Dark Rum
- 1 oz. Trader Vic's Mai Tai Mix
- Juice from 1 lime (~1 oz.)
- Splash of Demerara 151 Rum (optional)

Put the Meyer's, mixer and lime juice into a cocktail shaker with crushed ice and shake vigorously. Pour contents into a rocks glass (adding more crushed ice if necessary) and splash a floater of the 151 rum. Garnish with a mint sprig and skewered pineapple chunk and stemless maraschino cherry.

The Banana Cow, on the other hand, is not something you can have at Trader Vic's any longer. They have an extensive drink list to be sure, but just because is isn't served any longer doesn't mean it's not tasty! This recipe is s-l-i-g-h-t-y modified from Vic's original because I use Trader Vic's Banana Rum instead of the generic “light rum” it calls for and I also add a couple drops of Tahitian vanilla in it as well. Feel free to omit it.

- 1 banana
- 1.5 oz. Trader Vic's Banana Rum
- 3 oz. Milk
- 2 tbs. Powered sugar
- Dash of vanilla (optional)
- Plenty of crushed ice (his words, not mine. I'd say ½ cup crushed or 4-5 big ice cubes)

Put the mess in an electric blender and mix hell out of it. Pour in a large glass and have at it.

Best. Instructions. Ever. Seriously, those are the instructions. I use my Magic Bullet and put it into a Trader Vic's Coconut Mug but, whatever. As long as it fits in the glass and you “have at it”, it's all good.


So this drink is one that I stumbled upon @ the tikitender site while searching for new “beachy” type drinks. He calls it a Suntanned Surfer Girl but, when I read the ingredients, I said to myself “Hey! That's really just a Malibu Barbie, but with a spray-on tan.”. DING! DING! DING! The lightbulb went off and it had a new name. A Malibu Barbie is a well-established drink of pineapple juice and Malibu (coconut) rum over ice. This adds a splash of (Diet) Coke for a little cola/caramel flavor and color (hence the “spray on”). A Malibu Barbie is normally 8 oz. juice to 2 oz. Rum but I scaled it down a teeny bit simply because the small cans of pineapple juice are 6 oz. and most people making drinks at home don't have large amounts of pineapple juice sitting around in their fridge ;p And regular cola is fine too, I just use Diet Coke 'cause what else would Barbie drink? Duh!

- 6 oz. Pineapple juice
- 1.5 oz. Malibu (coconut) rum
- Splash of Diet Coke

Stir ingredients together with ice cubes in a collins glass, and serve.


Midge, of course, is Barbie's redheaded best friend...or at least, she was until they shipped her away to the same place McDonald's sent Uncle O'Grimacey and Hasbro banished Spike Witwicky before resurrecting him as Shia LaPoof. If Midge were still around today, everybody would know her as Barbie's anchor 'cause, frankly, she was. She had red hair, a little pug nose, lots of freckles and while she was cute in her own right, she had nothing on The Blonde Bombshell. This drink, however, is no anchor. It's the same basic concept, but with the new Bacardi Dragonberry/Strawberry rum (don't let the “Dragonberry” part fool you – it's strawberry rum. I'm guessing the marketing geniuses at Bacardi thought Dragonberry sounded more “exotic” or something. Whatev, it's strawberry.), and splashes of oj and pomegranate for a different flavor combo. Plus it comes out redheaded, rather than blonde :D If you don't have pomegranate juice handy, you can use a cosmo mixer in it's place OR a few drops of grenadine if really in a pinch, but be careful not to use TOO much.

- 6 oz. Pineapple juice
- 1.5oz. Bacardi Dragonberry Rum
- Splash of Orange Juice
- Splash of Pomegranate Juice
- Splash of Diet Coke

Stir ingredients together with ice cubes in a collins glass, and serve.


Yes, this drink is decidedly NOT tiki, but it's summer and it's good on a hot day. Now most of you prolly think I'm insane for suggesting you mix beer and...7-Up?!?!? I mean what insane culture would do such a thing to beer? Would you believe...the Germans? Yeap, that's right, the same country with the centuries old “Purity Act” that prevents you from using anything but four ingredients in beer (water, barley, hops and, later, yeast) are perfectly happy with mixing it with lemon-lime soda. I couldn't make this sh|t up if I tried! Anyways, The Hottie tried this at the local German place (Speisekammer) on a particularly hot day while we were eating outside and was immediately sold. It also makes a hefty 20 oz. drink (or 2, 10 oz. if you're the sharing kind) which is convenient because the drink calls for a 3:2 ratio of beer to soda and, of course, beer comes in 12 oz. bottles and the little half cans of soda stocking bar fridges across the nation are 8 oz. Traditionally, a Radler is made with a medium-dark beer (like the marzen pictured) but, these days, is commonly made with light beers, which is particularly good for summer months. We'll be using a local microbrews summer offering but any light/summer beer would work. He||, you can use Bud Light Lime and Diet 7-up for all I care 'cause pretty much ANYTHING added to Bud Light would make it taste better :p And, duh, since there's no shaking with ice in a shaker nor any ice IN the drink (that would just be crossing the line, amirite?) make sure both the beer and soda are ice cold before mixing...

- 12 oz. Pyramid Curve Ball
- 8 oz. Lemon-Lime Soda

Pour into a large, frosty pilsner glass and enjoy.