The Foodie Awards: 2010 PART II

A pox on you if you missed Part I of the 2010 Foodie Awards. Go read them now so you can be one of the kewl kids and don't end up sitting with the chess club in the crapeteria.

Like Part I, I'll add a new award each day this week. Unlike Part I, these are all new, shiny categories. Bon apetit...

FRIGGIN' AWESOME FRITES AWARD:

WINNER: HOBNOB

In general, Yelp is about as useful as a splotchy pile of steaming poo. This poo over here might be a different color or texture than the poo over there but, in the end, it's all the same sh|t. That being said, once you get thought the 'OMGWTFBBQ THIZ IZ THE BEST PLACE IN THE UNIVERZ!!!' and the 'This place kicked me out for no reason, the server stole my baby and the cook spit in my food and then ran it over with a car' bu||sh|t you will find a VERY common thread about HobNob: Order the Truffle Fries or you are a retarded noob. Even if you're there just drinking, you can't help but see order after order of these fries leaving the kitchen and being delivered to salivating customers. Imagine a substantial batch of piping hot fries pulled from the Fryolater then IMMEDIATELY dropped in a bowl with grated parmesan and truffle oil and tossed until well coated and then put into a serving bowl the size of Christina Hendricks breast (or a small chicken if you live in a cave and don't want to Google Christina Hendricks). As a result, the cheese has melted BUT then re-hardened so the fries are stuck to one another in tasty, crispy fry clusters, but not to the extent that they're overpowered by the cheese or oil. It's friggin' genius is what it is! And it comes with a super tasty Truffle Aioli to boot! Trust me, get whatever the nightly four-dollar drink special is and an order of Truffle Fries and you will be a very Happy Panda.

FIRST RUNNER-UP: BOUCHON

Now I've heard people crack on Thomas Keller's french fries, saying there's nothing 'special' about them. He||, I've even talked to a former employee who claimed they're little more than McD's frozen spuds fried up in peanut oil. To that I say,“I don't care...they're friggin' awesome dude”. Whatever is happening in the back of the kitchen @ Bouchon, it's French Fry Sorcery, because you have to look long and hard to find spuds better than this. Plus, there's very little in this world better than a cone of piping hot, salty pomme frites...especially at breakfast. I swear, if “The Most Important Meal of the Day” came with TK's fries then Americans would stop skipping breakfast. And, for what it's worth, Orson's Duck Fat Fries prolly would have had this spot but, inexplicably, The Foodie didn't go to Orson in 2009. INORITE!?!? I didn't believe it myself, but I checked out my OpenTable history and nada...my last visit there was DEC of 2008.

IN THE CONVERSATION: ANY FRENCH PLACE THAT SERVES THEIR FRIES IN A PAPER CONE.

BEST QUOTE ABOUT THE GREEN/SUSTAINABILITY TREND:

WINNER: BARTON SEAVER (BLUE RIDGE RESTAURANT)

“You want to save the oceans? Eat more broccoli. Change the topography of your plate. Sixteen ounces of shrimp on a plate is not the best nutrition. And you don't have to eat farmer's-market organic broccoli or participate in some green revolution. Just eat broccoli. They have it at Wal-Mart.”

FIRST RUNNER-UP: NATE APPLEMAN (FORMERLY OF A16 & SPQR)

"In San Francisco the audience is easy. You put tripe in a bowl and tell them it's from a humanely raised cow and they're going to eat it."

IN THE CONVERSATION: DAVID CHANG (KING OF THE MOMOFUKU EMPIRE)

“I call bullshit on San Francisco ... There's only a handful of restaurants that are manipulating food ... fucking every restaurant in San Francisco is serving figs on a plate with nothing on it."

Yeah...so...I don't really have much to add here as those quotes r-e-a-l-l-y speak for themselves. I could quibble with Chang's oversimplified vision of Frisco, but he already took his lumps from the cranky locals with cyber-pitchforks. Plus, he does have a point: we're geared more towards Alice Waters and less towards Grant Achatz. It is what it is /shrug. Also, that “They have it at Wal-Mart” line is just effing priceless. It's like people that buy a third car and think they're being “green” by buying a Prius. Dude, you really wanna be green? Get rid of the other two cars or, better yet, walk more.