Live Blog: Happy B-Day Meat Guy (DAY1)

This weekend, The Foodie is using The Meat Guy's B-Day as an excuse to head to SoCal and check off some more squares on the Culinary Bingo Card. Target #1 is Animal which, for some bizarre reason, THE MEAT GUY has never gone to. Let me repeat that...somebody that happily wears the moniker of THE MEAT GUY hasn't gone to Animal, easily the single most carnivore-tastic, meat-centric restaurant in L.A. if not the entire West Coast. I suppose it's because he's a social retard but, come on, he's been to Simon L.A. on his own and that place is waaaaaay more trendy/douchebag than Animal. I have no words.

Also on the Hit List: The Tar Pit, Culina, Wurstkuche, Villains Tavern and, since it's IS L.A., as many Food Trucks as we can track down (I'm talking to YOU Ludo Truck, Nom Nom & Lardon! Grill Em All can Die in a Fire for all I care...).

NOTE: If you want to check out The Hit List (or just stalk us this weekend) here's a Google Map for the trip:
http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?hl=en&ie=UTF8&msa=0&msid=104410773067872259158.000494444fef7f11b1fab&ll=34.000304,-118.296318&spn=0.241078,0.467262&z=12)

11.06.10 (SAT)

9:31 AM - Normally weekenders, by their very nature, run FRI-SUN, however by flying SAT-MON we gain a few more hours (and, thus, another meal) in L.A. and saved a huge chunk of $$$ on airfare (and, thus, $$$ for another meal). Also, Cal is playing Washington State today, which means we're not missing much on the College Football Front. As trips go, I have surprisingly few OT reservations although that has more to do with our destinations being Bars and Food Trucks. That and, for some bizarre reason, L.A. has a freakish amount of bars & restaurants that are closed on SUN & MON. Seriously: The Edison, Tiki-Ti, Villains Tavern, Cana Rum Bar and a lot of the Food Trucks are ALL closed SUN & MON? WTF L.A.?!? MON I can kinda get...but SUN??? Yeah...nobody wants to drink on the weekend. This just means that The Meat Guy & The Lush -err- The Hottie will end up getting smashed today as they cram all their bar hopping into 6 hours and then spend the rest of the trip recovering.

Anyways, I'm quickly having to change my gameplan as the Food Trucks are bailing on me! Seriously, Ludo Truck has a private event & Nom Nom has nothing listed for today, so it looks like they're taking the day off >_< We CAN get to a Kogi Truck but, well, there are FIVE of them these days so that's not a shocker and the Grilled Cheese Truck is supposed to be parked by the 69 Adult Toys Shop on Ventura. Yes, there's a Food Truck that sells nothing but Grilled Cheese. Yes, it's parked outside a Porn Shop. No, I couldn't make this sh|t up if I tried. Dogtown seems M.I.A. & the Venice Beach Mr. Beef is temporarily closed, but at least we've got a hook-up for Lardon tomorrow, so I'm not worried about them ATM.

9:44 - Note to Southwest: Don't call people to start lining up and then disappear for ten minutes. If we're boarding, we're boarding...otherwise let us sit with our wireless devices that we won't be able to use for the next hour and a half.

Also, somebody is bringing a crapton of Sourdough to La-La-Land cause I can easily smell the loaves even though I can't see them.

11:58 - First stop in L.A. is the aforementioned Grilled Cheese Truck and the line is GINORMOUS! We drop The Hottie off in the mass of humanity as we try to shark a parking spot.

12:14 - Not only is the line long, but this line is S.L.O.W. SLOW! Seriously, 15 minutes in line and we've moved 10 feet as most. It's not just us noticing either, pretty much everybody else in line is wondering what's up.

12:43 - STILL in the line to nowhere, so The Hottie heads across the street to Walgreens to get some Zeroes...not like there's anything else to do, amirite?

1:11 - I just spent $26.50 on 3 Grilled Cheese Sandos after waiting over an hour in line. Mind you, we don't HAVE them yet - that'll prolly be another 15-20 mins - we just have the order in. At this point Thomas Keller could be crafting the sandwiches with cheese made from Christina Hendricks breast milk and using the searing hotness of Angelina Jolie to melt the damn things and it STILL wouldn't be worth it.

1:29 - 90+ minutes since we arrived, we've got our Sandwiches & Tater Tots. My Cheesy Mac Sandwich is a nice blend of Mac & Cheese and, well, Cheese Cheese. It's gooey but not too messy and it has a really nice crust. The Hottie got the Special of the Day (Turkey, Cheddar & Apples on Walnut Bread) and thinks her sandwich is better than mine. She's wrong...but it's still tasty. Worth 90 minutes? No...but still yummy. The Meat Guy, naturally, opted for the Fully Loaded which was my sandwich with the addition of BBQ Pork & Carmelized Onions. He doesn't like it and claims he can't really taste the pork and didn't see that it had Mac & Cheese on it. IDK on either count. It's plenty porky and we TALKED about how his sandwich was mine with pork and onions while standing in the Line From Hell. I didn't get it simply because it seemed like overkill, and it was. The flavors got too muddled with THAT much stuff crammed between 2 pieces of "sourdough". Sounds good on paper but, in the end, it doesn't deliver. Oh and the Tater Tots were soggy and yucky. We had two orders and left about an order and a half in the garbage...and the Meat Guy loves Tater Tots! Bottom Line: For a Food Truck it's got some tasty product, but it's simply not worth the wait. Honestly, I can't think of much that's worth an hour and a half in line...

2:24 - We're @ the Tory Burch Outlet Store in Camarillo. Why? Well, it's the only one on the West Coast and The Hottie has thousands of dollars of Tory Burch Product. Then again, we're talking shoes, tunics, purses & dresses in the $200-$500/range, so thousands of $$$ isn't that hard to reach. Let's put it this way, The Hottie is WEARING her new Neiman Marcus Exclusive Tory Burch Camo Jacket (because military it totally showing this season...no, I'm not making that up) as we walk INTO the store. Let the shopping begin.

5:01 - Two Tanks, One Polo, One Tee, One Ring, One Necklace, One Kimono Dress, One Bracelet, One Purse, One Set of Cufflinks & One Pair of Flip Flops later we're finally done at what The Meat Guy called 'A Mall Amusuement Park'. It is a massive, impressive, sprawling center to be sure. Even The Meat Guy bought stuff and dude RARELY buys new clothes. Sadly, 1.5 hours @ Grilled Cheese + 2.5 hours @ the mall have left my feet in serious pain. The hour plus ride back to our hotel sounds pretty good right about now.

5:11 - I'm eating a McRib...deal with it. I was thirsty & the food court @ the outlet shops made The Hottie queasy, so we headed to McD's for a $1 sweet tea (a guilty pleasure of The Foodie) before heading onto the freeway. Anyways, they're plugging the McRib and it's been all over the news and practically viral on the web so I got one for the first time in...well...at least a decade? I'm sure the 'pork' is of dubious quality and the closet it ever got to a BBQ is when the frozen patties were driven past a genuine BBQ joint but it's still messy, tasty & oddly satisfying. Granted, there isn't much there, there but, then again, there isn't much to Megan Fox or Best Thing I Ever Ate and I still like them.

6:40 - In line @ the Kogi Truck in Inglewood and it smells sooooooo good. We found an amazingly close parking spot, which is good cause the area seems to have The Meat Guy a little freaked out: "I really don't trust street parking here." Whatev...at least this line moves.

6:51 - 10 mins later & our order is in. We opt for the Kogi Dog, a BBQ Pork Taco & Chicken Taco for less than ten bucks. Cheap eats, ftw!

7:07 - The Hottie is really digging the Kim Chi Slaw on the Kogi Dog and barely lets me get a bite of it before it's gone. POOF! It's tasty, but I prefer the sweet/savory combo of the BBQ Pork taco. I've had it once before, but this time it wasn't the end of service, so the meat's a little fresher and they were far more generous with the slaw. The chicken taco was a chicken taco /shrug. Not bad, but it didn't really have the Korean/Mexican fusion aspect of the dog and the pork.

7:28 - We got the Short Bus Room. No really, it's the handicap accessible room which means it's actually a little bigger than a normal room, so not a bad thing at all. It's kind of like a mini-suite & much nicer than our disappointing Four Points room last trip.

9:44 - I learn what a Ghetto Bird is (apparently it's a Police Helicopter). Even in the 510 we don't see Helis flying overhead with spotlights shining down on the streets like you see in the movies but, in The City of Angels, it's so common they've got a nickname for them. Who knew?

10:06 - After trying to shark a spot for over 10 minutes The Foodie makes the executive decision to bail on Wurstkuche in favor of Villains Tavern. There's simply no parking in a 4-5 block radius and it's not like we're the only people looking for parking either. Wurstkuche is open on SUN, so we could always try them manana.

10:10 - Villain's Tavern is very loud (live music you can hear a block away) and very kewl. A new kid on the block, VT went for a vintage, Steampunk vibe and managed to pull it off without coming across too Goth or cheesy. Their "thing" is Shots & Beer (about a dozen of each, so TONS of combinations) in 3 different sizes and served in mason jars along with handcrafted cocktails with obscure ingredients & villainous names like Cerberus, Poison Apple & Belladonna.

10:49 - Although the outside of Villain's Tavern can hold about five times the amount that the inside can, seating in both places is virtually non-existent and highly sought after. Somehow we managed to snag an inside table though our luck ran out there as they were out of two different beers we wanted as well as the Bourbon Bacon Caramel Corn. Instead we got the Wicked Fries with Parm & Parsley which were okay, but lacked any real flair. The deep-fried Chickpeas with Chili-Lemon Sea Salt were a much better choice.

11:26 - JACKPOT! We left VT in hopes that we could find a spot near Wurstkuche & we did. It may not matter to The Hottie though as the overproof whiskey shots & beer have clearly taken their toll.

11:58 - The theme of the day continues we we stand in a long @$$ line...again! I opt for the duck & bacon sausage that tastes like neither duck nor bacon but is tasty nonetheless. The fries aren't what I expected (skin on and not uniformly cut) but are seriously good frites! The walnut/blue cheese dipping sauce is equally good but I'm not feeling The Meat Guy's selection of Curry Ketchup. As for The Hottie, she's passed out on the bench complaining about the cucumber infused H20 they serve. Lesson learned, next time Food THEN Shots. Vice versa doesn't work nearly as well...