Live Blog: Happy B-Day Meat Guy (DAY2)

Since the O/G Live Blog for L.A. was a ginormous Wall of Text, I made the executive decision to break it down into 3 posts for each of the 3 days. That should make it a little more palattable. If you didn't read the first day (SAT), scroll down & read that first.

11.07.10 (SUN)

10:58 - The Meat Guy is 30 mins late picking us up and blames it on OBI SHWN. No seriously, Google OBI SHWN and look for the Honda that looks like a Rebel Alliance Vehicle. I'll wait...

...

...so yeah, either Shawn lives in Tinseltown (which would make sense with all the F/X jobs here) or there's some sort of Sci-Fi con going on, cause he was on the road this AM and, well, The Meat Guy was speeding up and slowing down alongside him to take it all in.

Regardless we're on the road again to yet another Food Truck and we brought The Meat Guy's nemesis, Gemma (a.k.a. our GPS), mostly for entertainment value.

11:24 - It doesn't take long for a payoff as Gemma's pronunciation of La Brea annoys The Meat Guy. I'm not sure where "Lay Bree" Avenue is but it seems to be near La Brea Avenue. Silly Gemma!

11:33 - The champagne "brunch" organized by Domaine L.A. is a bit of a clusterfuck as it seems that you can't actually GET the brunch unless you pre-ordered. Of course that wasn't stated ANYWHERE on their site or announcement of the event and, if you could ONLY buy tix in advance, why would you put down that "savings" you were getting by buying advance tickets? That kinda implies buying tix the day of event is possible. FAIL!

In spite of the confusion, the Lardon end of the event is fine. We can't order the Brunch Bento of Pumpkin French Toast but the rest of the menu is available and...NO LINE! The Egg slut that she is, The Hottie gets the B-Fast Sando on a Cibattia Roll and I try their signature Baco (A B-Fast Taco with a Bacon "Shell"). It's a challenge to eat, for sure, as the shell lacks any real structural integrity but they get an A for effort. Plus, any combination of eggs, fried potatoes & good, quality bacon is going to taste yummy after a late nite out, amirite?

11:55 - The theme of the trip continues as we're now in line @ Pink's. Yes, this wasn't really planned but the Lardon Truck was only a few blocks from Pink's and I'm always down with Meat in Tube Form. Plus, I went for the classic Chili Dog last time & want to try one of the wacky creations this time. Sadly, the Wendy Williams Dog is no more so we opt for the Ultimate HoffDog: 2 Dogs, 1 Bun, Kraut, Swiss & Pastrami. The Hottie wants some of their Orange Neon Fries and, at the last minute, I order a Chili-Cheese Stretch Dog too cause that's how I roll. The Meat Guy orders a behemoth construct called The America The Beautiful Dog with Bacon, Pastrami, Lettuce & Tomato on a Jalapeno Dog that isn't a hot dog at all...it's a friggin sausage. It's yummy but waaaaaaaaay more than anybody should be expected to eat, especially 30 mins after a visit to the Lardon Truck.

1:11 - The Meat Guy somehow breaks Gemma who now refuses to show anything in front his BMW. The route and surrounding DO get drawn in...AFTER he passes them. Since she's never exhibited this behavior before, he's convinced that our GPS is out to get him.

1:47 - We stop @ Santa Monica Hooters to watch the Raiders/Chiefs game and while it's hardly a Foodie destination it IS a great place to watch football. The Hottie's decked out in her Raider's gear and, since LA was home to the Raiders for a decade, there are plenty of Raiders fans to cheer on the Silver & Black. Layoutwise, this Hooters is the best I've seen: A big circular bar along with a large, funky, multi-leveled layout and a crapton of TV's. $12 Shocktop pitchers don't hurt either.

4:23 - I've been in Santa Monica Place (an upscale, outdoor "mall") less than an hour and just saw my FIFTH dog wearing clothing! Seriously SoCal, WTF is up with dogs in clothing? It's friggin' 70+ degrees in NOV FFS. Your dog aint cold (it has fur, after all) and it now dreams of killing you in your sleep. And, honestly, no jury is going to convict Prince Puppykins when he tears out your larynx - you deserved it!

6:33 - Gemma tells The Meat Guy to turn at Lay Ti'Jerra Blvd. I think he's developing a nervous tick at this point.

6:39 - Here's the truly amazing thing about L.A. Traffic, there's a 24-hour, dedicated carpool lane PLUS six regular lanes and the 405 is STILL jammed on a SUN nite? There's a reason you pull up a Goggle Map for directions and while it says the distance is 20 miles, the time, in traffic, is over an hour to get there. W. T. F.

7:07 - When people said that Animal had no decor, they weren't kidding. No color, nothing to speak of on the walls, there's not even signage! Oh, and the Men's Room was positively scary. Seriously, the crapper at your local AM/PM was in better shape than theirs o_O. Layoutwise, it reminds me of SPQR and Commis: A long, narrow space, crammed with tables and a tiny bar with no place to wait for your table (barely a host stand, for that matter). But, it's Animal. You're not here for the amazing view, the decadent marble tiled loo or white truffles shaved tableside by Garcon. You're here for Pig Tails "Buffalo Style" & Pig Ear with Chili, Lime & topped w/a Fried Egg. Personally, I went for the Poutine with Oxtail Gravy & thought it was the best dish of the night. Long story short, Poutine is (more or less) a Canadian version of Chili Cheese Fires with Gravy instead of Chili. Not upscale by any means, but Animal elevated it to ZOMGBBQ status. The "gravy" wasn't gravy so much as oxtail braised to fall-apart-to-the-touch status (think braised short ribs) in a thick, rich sauce. There was definitely more meat than gravy in this "gravy", but one should expect no less from Animal. I also got to check another dish off my Best Thing I Ever Ate List (The Bacon Chocolate Crunch Bar), but it wasn't. It's good, but you're talking to a guy that has at least a couple of Vosges Bacon/Chocolate bars on hand @ any given time, so the 'WOW' factor of the Bacon/Chocolate/Salt combo is long since gone for me. Tasty, yes. Best. Thing. Ever? Hardly.

8:37 - On my way back from the Scariest. Loo. Ever. I see not one but TWO flashes as people take pics of their food. Okay people, I know it's a Foodie destination and J-Gold called Animal the most influential restaurant in L.A.,"...the one where visiting chefs go when they have time for only one dinner in town" but, seriously kids, KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE EFFING FLASH! You want a pic, fine? I take pics too. But I don't need to be blinded in the process.

8:52 - We arrive at our most disappointing stop of the trip, The Tar Pit, for some drinks, but the surprisingly smallish bar is packed and what looks like open lounge seating is oddly unavailable. No matter, The Hottie doesn't really care that some self-important douche is trying to "save" 3 seats for his buddies and squeezes into the bar. The drinks are good enough, but the Pickled Deviled Eggs pale next to the Wayfare Tavern version we had last month and, frankly, the live music is meh & too loud for such a small space. Also, the band clearly invited all their friends (and co-workers & neighbors & twitter followers & that guy the on the corner they talked to once before...) to see them play, so all the overly-loud, fake enthusiasm is annoying. We bug out quickly as everybody looks at us like we're crazy. Sorry people, we came to the bar to drink (novel concept, I know) & I don't really care about your friend/co-worker/dude you talked to once.